Kathy, age 62

New York, living with MBC for ten years

I was living a busy life in New York City, focusing on my psychotherapy practice when I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer 12 years ago. Two years later, assuming I had beaten the cancer, I collapsed at the gym. Knowing that something was very wrong, I visited my doctor and received the grim diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer (MBC). My doctor told me that I’d live only a few years; devastating not only to myself but also my husband and two step-children. The cancer had spread from my breast to my liver and abdomen.

At the time of my diagnosis, my husband and I were in the process of closing on a vacation home in the country. I asked him if we should reconsider buying the house, knowing I may only have two years to live. He said, "Absolutely not!" With his support and positive attitude I channeled my energy into decorating the house and gardening, which proved to be therapeutic and provided me with peace during this overwhelming time.

The country home has been a great place for my husband and me to escape and has helped with my healing process. We flee the city year-round to enjoy the peacefulness of the country; during the winter we try to fit in some ski trips. I was even skiing with my wig on while undergoing chemotherapy!

Knowing that I should be living my life to the fullest while I have the opportunity, I stopped my private psychotherapy practice upon my MBC diagnosis and immersed myself in volunteer work. Through this experience I've become an advocate for women living with MBC, spreading the message that we need to be our own advocates, to ask questions and never give up hope! I enjoy sharing my personal experience and hope that it can inspire other women living with MBC.

Pamela, age 48

Massachusetts, living with MBC for over four years

Following a routine mammogram at the age of 44, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February, 2005. At that time, my doctors diagnosed me with Stage 1 breast cancer (cancer that has not spread beyond the breast) that seemed treatable. However, two months and two surgeries later, right before I was scheduled to start chemotherapy, my oncologist found countless metastases all over my liver, resulting in a diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer (MBC). I asked her how long I had to live, and she replied, "Three years. Maybe longer... But you'll definitely die of breast cancer."

At that moment, my search for hope and support began. At first, I had trouble finding relevant information and support specifically for MBC. One of the first hurdles I faced was when I was turned down for a writing program I had applied to for young breast cancer patients. The hospital running the course felt that metastatic breast cancer patients were too sick to participate reliably in their program. When I told them that I was living an active life and going to weekly Mind/Body classes thirty minutes after chemo infusions, they continued to insist that I was not physically able to join the program.

This type of roadblock inspired me to become an advocate for women living with advanced breast cancer. I wanted to become a champion for other patients, and I hope that I am proof that it is possible to live a normal life with this disease.

I still do the things I love to do ranging from writing to rowing to going to concerts to hanging with family and friends. While I have been lucky in living a relatively energetic lifestyle with this disease for more than four years, I know that the majority of people with MBC sadly don’t live longer than 2-3 years with it. However, MBC patients should not be stigmatized within the breast cancer community.

And, most importantly, we need to raise awareness that there is no cure for breast cancer yet – as those of us battling MBC know all too well. At the end of the day, what we really need are new breast cancer treatments that will extend our lives and that will put an end to the paralyzing fear that breast cancer continues to invoke, holding way too many in its dark lethal grip and cutting short way too many lives in its wake.

Kristen, age 34

New York, living with MBC for 3 and a half years

I had recently landed my dream job in the fashion industry when a Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (MBC) diagnosis in December 2005 changed everything. At 31 years of age, I should’ve been concentrating on my new career, dating, and school but instead was faced with complicated decisions about treatments that would slow the growth of the cancer but would compromise my fertility, sexuality and mortality. I later learned that there was a whole community of young women faced with these unique issues that have a tremendous impact on the quality of their lives. While there’s been great progress in breast cancer treatments, we can and must do better.

Living with metastatic disease has been a journey filled with every emotion one could imagine; joy, hope sadness, anger, and anxiety as I continue to navigate through a life of uncertainty. The psychosocial aspect of this disease is rarely discussed but is often times one of the most difficult side effects to endure. Many women with breast cancer are diagnosed early and are considered generally curable, but women with MBC are living with a disease that is not curable and often times involves a lifetime of treatment in a race against time. This race is exhausting and involves an incredible amount of endurance, patience, hope and support. I feel lucky to have made it this far, as I’ve lost many special women to this disease.

It was this pivotal moment in my life when I found the woman I was always meant to become as I realized that it’s not how long you live that’s important; it's how you choose to live each day. I have emerged from this battle a true warrior, a dedicated advocate compelled to give back by devoting my life to educate young women and their families on risk factors, prevention, support services, complementary and conventional treatment options for breast cancer.

Since my diagnosis, I have traveled all over the country for breast cancer advocacy and joined an amazing sisterhood of beautiful, strong, courageous and powerful women! We fight the good fight. As Maya Angelou says, "You may face many defeats, but you must never feel defeated."

Dikla, age 39

California, living with MBC for five years

Having watched two parents lose their battles with cancer at a young age, I did not think that I was out of the woods for a cancer diagnosis. However, I never thought the diagnosis would come in 2002 at the age of 32. Two years later I learned that my Stage 3 breast cancer metastasized to my lungs and my spine, resulting in a diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer (MBC).

Younger women, like me, with metastatic breast cancer often find themselves facing an aggressive cancer. While my brothers were by my side throughout my diagnosis and it’s because of them that I made it through, I felt like I needed to talk to women my age going through a similar experience.

I struggled to find a specific support group that was tailored to the unique needs of younger women with advanced breast cancer. I felt confused and alone, which led me to form a support network of my own to help younger women with MBC find their new sense of self. I found that so many women living with advanced disease were eager to connect with one another. Community is so important and has made a huge impact on how I have been able to live with the disease

Someone who is diagnosed with MBC will always be in treatment – it never ends. I know that not everyone with MBC is as fortunate as I have been, as I’m living with the disease for more than five years now. Despite the obstacles that lay ahead, the most important thing for me is establishing a sense of normalcy within your life, and that is what I want to communicate to others. You come to a place where you can find sweetness in this "other" life, a chance to create something from your current experience; sweetness that comes each day simply from SURVIVING.

Colleen, age 46

New York, living with MBC for two and a half years

Several years after my mother passed away, she came to me in a vision and told me I had breast cancer. My doctor was always diligent in sending me for mammograms and sonograms on an annual basis. Unfortunately, my cancer went undetected until it had spread throughout my skeletal system. In February 2007, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer when my cancer metastasized to the bones. I was 44 and my children were 15 and 11 years old.

In addition to my conventional treatment regimen, I started researching wellness support that would help me manage my disease such as nutrition, meditation and support groups. When I was initially diagnosed I stopped working, believing in the "No dying man ever wished he had worked one more day" philosophy. But, I soon realized, I am not dying…I am LIVING with cancer. I continue to live a full life working and being a mother and wife to my college sweetheart.

While being diagnosed with late stage cancer in my mid-40s is in no way a walk on the beach, in many ways I am very lucky. I know my story is unique, as many people with the disease don’t make it this long. I was fortunate to discover my cancer before it had done more damage. The medical community is changing so rapidly and the medications I'm on now allow me to lead a full life.

My goal is to let the world know (to paraphrase Dr. Seuss), "we’re here, we’re here, we’re here!" There are many women in the world living with late stage breast cancer. We want the cancer community to recognize us, embrace us, and help us. My mantra is: I am not incurable; I am just waiting for a cure.